


Tender

by GildedBird



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bisexual Male Character, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Light Angst, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Nudity, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GildedBird/pseuds/GildedBird
Summary: Bruises and scars color his skin.He's human now and more vulnerable than he's ever been.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Tender

**Author's Note:**

> Someone got me thinking when was the last time someone had taken care of Cas? So this was inspired by that sentiment, as well as the importance of non-sexual intimacy. I know Cas has been human a couple of times in canon but for all intents and purposes, this is an AU, as it is not distinctly set during those times. Also, I just want to thank @alpacamybags for beta reading my first fic.

On the outskirts of some empty highway, sits a motel that not even the light of the moon can illuminate. Surrounded by unruly grass and hidden by a thicket of trees-it’s rife for wildlife, yet only crickets break the silence.

Attached to the motel, is a small lot. Only a few cars occupy it, most notably, a black Chevy. It sits quietly, catching the moonlight and the faint yellow light from a room window. Inside the room, an angel stands before a bathroom mirror. 

Under the harsh, fluorescents; the angel stands bare. Examining his hand-it’s marred with scars, bruises, and grime. It’s the same for the rest of his naked form, for he is not really an angel. Not anymore. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see his partner undressing. Shucking his equally grimy clothes, revealing his equally scarred body. Normally, if he was still an angel, he wouldn’t be occupying his mind with dirt or scars. Instead, he would take in the sight of the beautiful man, just inches from him. Silky brown hair down to his broad, broad shoulders. Tapering down into a strong but lean bottom and pair of legs. Instead, Castiel thinks about the blemishes along his own body, about the pain that never seems to leave his bones, about how different he is from before. 

In the mirror, Castiel sees Sam turn, and not even the ugly fluorescents can diminish his handsome features. But worry colors them now, as he catches Cas’ eye. In one short step, he’s behind Castiel, barely in the mirror. 

“Hey,” Sam says, voice pitched low. “You okay?”

It’s punctuated with a clasp of Castiel’s shoulder. Sam’s hand is so warm, so different from the rest of the room, that it startles whatever equilibrium Castiel had. He’s shivering then and Sam is rubbing his large hands along Cas’ arms. It helps, but it's not enough.

“Let’s get in the shower, huh?”

Castiel sees himself nod. 

The spray is not very strong but it's hot, and with Sam behind him, it’s enough. He clasps his hands under the spray, trying in vain to capture as much of the heat as he can. 

“Nothing like a hot shower,” he hears Sam say, followed by a short laugh. He hears motion behind him as well, but it’s hard to give it more than a cursory thought. 

Hands, large and warm, splay across his back, rubbing a freshly scented soap into it. It’s cool, but compared to the furnaces on either side of him, it’s negligible. 

Sam is thorough but gentle. His hands follow every hard line of Castiel’s body, caressing every curve. He works his fingers through the foam and froth and into the muscle underneath. He guides his hands to all of Cas’ sore spots. Castiel can barely hear himself over the shower but he knows he’s near purring under Sam’s attention. He feels himself drifting back into his partner’s chest, feels his head droop. 

Watching all the dirt and grime circle the drain, Castiel doesn't even notice the hand reaching for his chin, turning his head. Suddenly all he can see is the concern on Sam’s face. 

“What’s on your mind, Cas ?” 

Castiel stares back. He feels his mouth fall open, gears turning in his head. He feels the thick wall of steam between them, feels the heat of the water fading. He feels the need to answer Sam, but he also feels the deep shame of his inadequacy. 

His eyes dart from Sam to the bottle on the shelf beside them. He presses out a pump of soap, his arm braced against the cool tile, his face heated. 

He goes to lather Sam’s chest, but hands stop him in his tracks.

The hands don’t have a very strong grip on him; he wonders if he could break their hold. 

When he was an angel, there was no doubt- no man could hold him against his will. But the hands pull his closer, till they lay against a broad chest.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But I’m here if you need me, Cas.” Sam says.

Castiel blinks, wets his lips, looking at their entwined hands. He almost, almost, tears up. Instead, he blinks away the water and sighs. 

“I don’t think I fully understood what it meant to be human,” Castiel says. A wrinkle forms between his brow, as he looks at their hands, at the rivulets of water washing over them. “Emotions were never this intense,”

He pauses to rub his finger back and forth, over Sam’s chest. “Never this close to the surface before.” 

A thumb brushes Castiel's cheek, drawing his eyes up. Sam looks at him, his mouth open as if to say something, but he closes it. Looks away. 

“ And that-" Sam says, looking back at him. "That scares you ?"

Cas’s eyes drop to their joined hands. He feels the spike in his heart rate. The uneasiness fluttering through his stomach. The way his mind can barely focus. He curls his fingers over Sam’s heart and swallows. “No.”

His eyes catch Sam’s.

Sam smiles back, sadly. “The water’s getting kinda cold. Let’s finish up.”

Cas simply nods his head.

When they’re done, steam obscures most of the floor and ceiling. They step out onto the carpet. Just the two of them, on this small island. Sam reaches out for a towel on the nearby rack and wraps it around Cas’ shivering form. 

Sam tends to Castiel with intense focus. Deliberate with each pat of the towel. It’s not very soft, and it is a little dingy, but it’s warm against the cooling bathroom. Finally, Sam gets to his hair. Castiel has just enough time to see the impish grin before the towel is being rubbed over his head- vigorously. When Sam’s done, he is smiling at him.

In the mirror, Castiel can see himself- his hair sticking every which way.

He shakes his head, laughing under his breath. He reaches for the other towel, raising an eyebrow at Sam, expectantly. Sam chuckles but lowers his head. When Castiel is finished, Sam’s hair is a matching, unruly mess- and he is no less wet. 

They both finish drying off eventually and close the bathroom door as they enter the main room. Even with the blinds open and the table lamp on, the room’s furnishings are just barely visible. 

Sam maneuvers over to the nightstand, where he dropped their rucksacks. While he searches for clothes in the dark, Castiel wanders over to the table by the window. Thin lines of moonlight unveil the table's uneven texture and a worn paperback. Castiel picks up the book, glancing at its back and front. 

“Movie?” He turns at Sam’s voice. 

Castiel sets the book down. He looks to the small television, then to the ratty, couch. He throws a sidelong glance at Sam. Sam, in his underwear, shuffles from foot to foot. 

“Something to take your mind off things,” Sam suggests.

Castiel cants his head back, brows furrowed. He looks at the couch, then to the bed. Neither is exactly inviting. The bed’s white sheets look especially unflattering in the yellow lamplight. Castiel doesn't even have to touch it to know the texture will irritate him as well. Then a breeze sneaks in, crawling up Castiel’s spine. He stiffens. 

He wraps his arms around himself as Sam draws near, a flannel in hand. He drapes it over Castiel’s shoulders and pulls him away from the window. Beside the bed, Sam shimmies into sweatpants as Cas finds something to wear, other than a flannel. Boxers, a little worn, and still soft. He pulls them up over his bare thighs. He turns to find Sam arranging the bed for them and can’t help the little scowl overtaking his features. He retrieves the remote before getting on the bed, then points it at the little screen.

The television comes alive with a click, a sound that is so familiar to Castiel, yet nothing like it was before. 

His hearing used to be so acute, all of his senses were. Picking up every shift, every collision of particles. But it never startled Cas, never hurt. To a being of light and intent, larger than anything this planet could muster, these stimuli were nothing more than blips on his radar. Barely anything to the millions of molecules already competing for his attention. He realizes now, however, that there was always something between them.

His grace acted as a blanket, a shield. It kept him from being fully immersed in the physical realm. Sounds, textures, and feelings were nothing but entropy against the edge of his conscience. He realizes, now, how much he misses that distance.

A warm arm pulls him closer then, caressing the planes of his stomach. And if he focuses hard enough, he can almost sense the collision of particles that follow it. But he is drawn further from his conscience, with the press of warm lips near his neck. The feeling reverberates through his body and he can’t help curling toward the source. 

He hears a low giggle- that must be Sam. A softer sound, perhaps one of content? That might be him. He opens his eyes to find Sam leaning over him, smiling. 

“Where are you, right now?” Sam asks.

Castiel looks up into his face and sighs. “Heaven.”

Sam pauses, smile waning.

“Oh, Cas-” he begins. Beginning to draw his arm back.

“No.” Cas grabs the arm before it can get too far. “I mean- you.” 

“Oh." Sam smiles as he falls back against Castiel, blushing.

Sam is so inviting and warm, Castiel realizes belatedly, just how much the other man's presence means to him. He's forgotten about the drafty room, the itchy sheets, and the ache of his injuries. All of those things mean nothing in the face of Sam.

Castiel’s smile is slow to start, but it grows bigger as he drinks in Sam- his smile, his dimples, his nose, his moles, and his eyes. Finally, Castiel’s eyes come to rest back on Sam’s lips.

He catches Sam’s eye. 

Grinning, Sam leans in. 

Castiel meets him halfway, for a tender kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this is a temporary change or if Castiel is permanently human in this but either way, it's a fun topic to explore. There's so much more to Castiel beyond his abilities as an angel, I wish canon had explored that more, I know I wnt to.  
> Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you very much for reading!


End file.
